Sunday, November 8, 2009
Sovereign Grace Bible Church
Jim Kang, Pastor-Teacher
THE ROLE OF CHRISTIAN HUSBANDS – PART 2
Ephesians 5:25
INTRODUCTION
The primary point of this context or section is not about marriage, or about the roles of wives or husbands. Rather, it is about the redemptive relationship between Christ and his church.
This section begins with two aspects of the role for all Christian husbands, namely the mandate to love and the manner in which to love. First, the mandate to love is “Husbands, love your wives,” which is not a suggestion but a command. This is a nonnegotiable command for all Christian husbands to obey.
Next, notice the manner in which the husband is to love his wife: just as (which is the key word regarding the manner) Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her. What this means is the mandate to love our wives is directly connected to Christ’s love for his church. That is why, in order to love our wives more and better, we must understand how or the manner in which Christ loved the church. To say it negatively, I cannot love my wife just as Christ loved the church, if I don’t know how Christ loved the church.
So, we are forced with a very important question, that is: How did Christ love the church? And what kind of love is this? Hence, it is my goal this morning to help you unpack those questions from our text, so that we can love our wives better and more, for the glory of God. With that in mind, let me first define what kind of love this is, and then describe such love demonstrated by Christ to the church.
I. Definition: What Kind of Love Is This?
In Greek language there are several words for love. For instance, there is eros, a pure physical and sensual type. There is also phileo, a friendly sentiment, or having a sense of fond affection for something or someone. Then there is agape, the highest form of love that is reserved only for God, Christ, and Christians in the NT.
In this section all the words for love in Greek are agape. Six times the verb “love” or agape is mentioned: twice in verse 25, three times in verse 28, and once in verse 33. Certainly, there is nothing wrong to have a physical/sensual love for your wife, or even to have a fond affection for your wife. However, God’s mandate for husbands is to love our wives with agape love, just as Christ loved (agape) the church.
I want to help further with your understanding of its definition, namely that this love does not refer to general or universal love. Rather, it is special love, a particular love.
Let me ask you a question, men: Do you love all wives the same? If so, then you’re in a big trouble! Of course not! You have a special love for the special individual; and it is particular, not universal.
In theology, this kind of love is what God’s special grace or sovereign grace means. While God allows the sun to shine on both believers and unbelievers, God demonstrates special love toward his own. This isn’t hard to understand. Just look at your own family. Do you not treat your own family different than you do to others? Do you not have special love for your own children than other children?
Let me summarize what kind of love is agape: God’s agape love is special and particular, not universal. It is based on his sovereign choice, not my choice.
- NAU 1 John 4:10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
- NAU Romans 9:15 For He says to Moses, “I WILL HAVE MERCY ON WHOM I HAVE MERCY, AND I WILL HAVE COMPASSION ON WHOM I HAVE COMPASSION.” 16 So then it does not depend on the man who wills or the man who runs, but on God who has mercy.
Hence, agape is unilateral (unconditional), cannot be earned, and it is redemptive.
II. Descriptions: How Did Christ Loved the Church?
I want to point out three very important observations from verse 25. One, why does it say “Christ loved the church,” which speaks of the past action? Second, why does it say, “…just as Christ also loved the church,” which implies that someone else loved the church besides Christ? If so, who? Third, how did Christ give himself up for her?
Those are three very important questions that would help us to better understand the manner in which Christ loved the church. All answers are found in Ephesians. Let me first begin with the second observation. With that in mind, please turn your Bible to Ephesians 1. Draw your attention to verses 3 to 6. Notice verse 4 says, “In love (lit. in agape) He predestined us…,” which means that agape love is the basis for God’s choice for our salvation, specifically predestination and adoption.
Next, draw your attention to 2:1-6. Notice from verse 4 that agape love is the basis for his mercy toward us, specifically, our spiritual regeneration (v. 5) and position with him (v. 6).
As you can see, although everyone deserves to be perished eternally, God chose to save some. That is why his agape love is special and particular, not universal. It is based on his sovereign choice. It is unilateral (unconditional) and redemptive. Therefore, answer to the question, who else loved the church besides Christ, it is God our Father!
Now, answer to the first question, why the verse states “Christ loved the church,” which speaks of the past action, it is none other than his sacrificial and substitutionary death. Just like our heavenly Father’s love for the church, Christ loved the church even before she came into existence and even after her existence! That means the Father and the Son loved the church even when she was sinful and unfaithful to God. That is why God’s agape is sovereign, unilateral and redemptive.
- NAU Romans 9:15 For He says to Moses, “I WILL HAVE MERCY ON WHOM I HAVE MERCY, AND I WILL HAVE COMPASSION ON WHOM I HAVE COMPASSION.” 16 So then it does not depend on the man who wills or the man who runs, but on God who has mercy.
- NAU 1 John 4:10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
I have answered so far why the verse points out the love of Christ in past action and what the word “also” implies. Now, let me answer our final observation. Grammatically, this last phrase is an illustration of Christ’s love, that is, Christ loved the church by giving himself up for her, namely his sacrificial and substitutionary death, which Paul already mentioned in 1:7; 2:13; and 5:2.
Just like in 5:2, the key word in 5:25 is the reflexive pronoun “himself.” This has a huge implication because it suggests that he was not forced to die at the hand of evil doers but that he laid down his own life for the church (cf. John 10:11, 14-15, 17-18).[1]
NAU Hebrews 12:2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Perhaps, no other place in the Pauline Epistles this is clearly portrayed than Philippians 2, so with that in mind, please turn your Bible to there. Draw your attention to verses 5 to 8. As you can see Christ gave himself up for church voluntarily, sacrificially, salvifically, particularly, and unilaterally (unconditionally).
Now, husbands, this is the way in which we are mandated to love our wives!
[1] Harold W. Hoehner, Ephesians: An Exegetical Commentary (Grand Rapids: Baker, 2004), 750.
